The “Guy Rules” Written by a Guy……lol

The Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down (author unknown, but brilliant!)

Finally , the guys’ side of the story.  We always hear the rules from the female side.  Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!  Please note.. these are all numbered ‘1 ‘ ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It’s like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are.
Don’t ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say ‘nothing,’ We will act like nothing’s wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine… Really .

1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or
motor sports

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.

Advertisements

About avlanchlovngirl

I believe that we are here for a reason. We just don't know what it is. I believe there are no borders or color differentiations. We're all the same under the skin and we all want the same basic things. I hate injustice and tend to take a stand against what I feel is unfair and just plain wrong. So, read on and comment if you'd like. Happy New Year!
This entry was posted in Goofy Stuff from Everywhere, Humor my way, Not So Current Events and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to The “Guy Rules” Written by a Guy……lol

  1. Steve says:

    Let me be clear here – this is all so true. Men aren’t animals or a**holes, we just operate a certain way – AS DO WOMEN! So… here it is!

  2. sporepigfish says:

    OMG, every girl and boy will be thankful this is finally summarized so neatly together!
    BTW: you mean sphere is a shape? I am too nerdy a girl I know.
    Please stop by to read my funny stories.

  3. beautyqueen62887 says:

    These are absolutely Hilarious !

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s